D.Greaves

Well Veresed. Never Rehearsed.

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    THE MIRROR

    i woke up

    or did i

    i stood up

    do i

    i asked myself a question

    who am i

    the sum of my fears

    the accumulation of my tears

    the weariness of my years

    am i my mothers child

    does her blood course through my viens

    or did i spill it on the tracks at angorra terrace

    is her pride my power

    or did i sell mine 4 acceptance

    i remember vividly my mothers walk

    not her everyday stroll

    the defiant stroll

    the stroll she had when sporting black eyes

    eyes that dammit refused to cry

    in public

    to hell with perception

    she would say

    my pride is my protection

    and she would stroll like a queen

    work like a fiend

    and wait....until daddy slipped

    u see men forgive

    women never forget

    my dad is getting up there now

    life

    strife

    hard work and a stroke have diminished his bite

    so to have the marks of my mothers wrath

    the burns

    the cuts

    his body is a map of a mans stupidity

    long ago i looked at his body 

    and said defiantly

    not me

    not ever

    i must be better

    am i

    who am i

    whom do you see

    he has marks on his body

    i have a mark on my soul

    he bled out

    i bleed within

    he fought my mother

    i fight my fathers dna

    damn...why am i here

    i wonder

    defiant black men raised in philly

    refusing 2 budge

    prepared 2 die

    knowing nothing of living and what love is

    in a constant state of battle readiness

    hell no

    i should be dead

    or maimed

    or blamed

    or shamed

    or insane

    who am i

    5 strong 

    5 belong

    my family creed

    5 against each other and the hood

    kill each other sho nuff

    but you cant

    the bajan blood is hot like afternoon sand

    mess with us

    i dare you

    you know what the world says

    okay we will

    my blood spilled

    and my soul continues 2 bleed

    the war outside has become the battle within

    and each day i peer into the bathroom mirror

    i ask myself

    who am i

    a father 

    hell yes

    proud of that title no doubt

    a husband

    nah..i failed at that

    or should i say she and i couldnt

    communicate with all of the noise

    from my battle within 

    a battle i couldnt hope 2 win

    was she a casualty of war

    hell yeah..

    how could she not be

    because see 

    unlike my daddy

    i didnt strike with fists or slaps

    these words you read

    are docile

    the intent 

    well now that depends doesnt it

    after all the mirror never lies

    who am i

    last night my daughter heard me cry

    she came into my room

    and asked why

    i held her and said

    men like me cry when there is no war

    when we store

    pain

    shame

    blame

    when we are maimed 

    internally

    and she gently 

    laid her head on my heaving chest

    and said quietly

    daddy

    you have me

    yes i do baby

    i thought 2 myself

    dee

    not dgreaves the poet

    not darwin

    not the defiant one

    not the failure

    not the assailer

    not the perpetrator

    nor orchestrator

    of of my demise

    the mirror reflects my eyes

    weary

    teary

    angry

    hopelessly lost

    the cost

    who cares

    and as i stare

    into the mirror

    i am fully aware

    that i must leave my doubts

    my  inner fears

    right here

    because out there

    is a world just waiting  2 define

    in rather unkind

    ways

    who i am

    who am i

    who do u see

    the man i am

    or the man

    i refuse 2 be

    Creative Commons License
    All Poetry by D.Greaves/Darwin Greaves by D.Greaves-Darwin Greaves is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at dgreaves.posterous.com.
    Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://dgreaves.posterous.com/pages/dgreaves-tos

    • 15 February 2011
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    Thanks for stopping by and visiting my site. I hope you enjoy the poetic works shared here.Please feel free to leave a comment and subscribe. You can also find me on Facebook under Darwin Greaves. While there, stop by and like my fan page. Listed under D.Greaves the Poet.

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    Thanks for stopping by and visiting my site. I hope you enjoy the poetic works shared here.Please feel free to leave a comment and subscribe. You can also find me on Facebook under Darwin Greaves. While there, stop by and like my fan page. Listed under D.Greaves the Poet.

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