D.Greaves

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    THE MAN I AM (I AM D'EE)

    Dee

    Here I sit

    content

    surrounded I am by those who know

    THE MAN I AM

    and accept me for the

    beautiful

    fractured

    faulty

    Dee-fiant proud Black man

    I have finally become

    the smoke of my vanity tossed onto the bonfire

    glows red like the envy of those who seek to be me

    yet refuse to confront the reality

    of their mypoic vision

    with a gem gutter's precision

    I have shaped my black diamond heart into a pendant

    I wear with honor

    with an assassin's 20/10 vision

    I received permission to destroy the old D'ee

    what I was

    or rather,

    what you claimed I chose to be

    with an emancipator's descision

    I have broken free of rusted chains

    to reclaim

    my name

    and refocus my aim

    free of derision and pain

    and now finally I am surrounded by those who know

    THE MAN I AM

     

    No declaration of love is needed

    for we noble few seeded

    ghetto fields once barren and devoid of life

    no wife

    ex or current

    no deterrent

    can break our bond forged in the battles we have fought

    and survived

    so my brothers

    continue to imbibe

    while I scribe

    writing with blood captured when my heart leaked

    7 days prior

    from a desire

    to be a fool

    participating in an atmosphere of sycophantic erotic worship

    never has that been me

    for long ago I was told real men make love

    to real women in secrecy

    and tell only tales of devotion

    of unconditional love and emotion

    remember those

    who were resold into bondage

    the names we blasted on tenament walls as a remembrance

    rest in peace brave soldiers

    you were much bolder

    than I

    your only fault was believing in those professed love for you

    but never bled at your side

    when the rising tide

    of deciet

    was within mere feet

    of our fortress of solitude

    so what am I to conclude

    as I sit with those who know

    THE MAN I AM

     

    Ghetto years akin to dog years

    I am not 45

    I am 215 years old give or take a leap year

    what have we witnessed my brothers

    the destruction of bonds

    the exile of trust

    the taste of acrid dust

    the bile of misplaced lust

    the Utopian dream of Camelot fictitious

    as the swords we thrust

    into a fantastical illusion

    and despite these untimely intrusions

    we could never lie

    not while looking into our eyes

    not reaching for the sky

    not when our souls asked why

    and not even when collectively we received nothing but questions

    and the only answer was

    the repression

    of our natural selection

    to be kings

    the finer things

    I have never sought

    I never allowed my worth to be bought

    or bartered

    a self-starter

    I have been time after time

    and here finally is my reward

    as I find

    myself surrounded by those who know

    THE MAN I AM

     

    Not in words

    not in blurbs

    not in blogs

    not in love senitment etched in logs

    but in my devotion

    in my emotions

    in sterotypical notions

    I have dispelled

    hear me know

    did I not live to tell

    not in wishing wells

    not in a damsel's fainting spell

    but in the lofty place I reside

    in Black Pride

    in truth I relied

    when through falsehood and rumor many

    men have died

    desptie

    the sweet words whispered by women

    who defied

    the calling of angels to unite

    and now I fight

    not with pen

    not to upend

    not to pretend

    not to bend

    nor break

    nor ever forsake

    who I am and the promise of what I can be

    I AM THE D'EE

    yes indeed

    I ponder much as I sit surrounded by those

    who know

    THE MAN I AM

     

    The music of our shared birthright

    lingerts upon this night

    the suspicion of those outside

    remains outside of our sphere

    as we shed happy tears

    and recall the years

    apart

    our hearts

    filled with joy

    as we recount the journey of a man

    from a boy

    each and every man present facing death by choice

    our palms moist

    with anxiety

    as we

    remember details

    that would render even the spirit's pale

    and yet

    we refused to fail

    refused to consign our fates to any man or woman's

    Holy Grail

    and yes

    still our dreams do sail

    for we finally have a comprehensive plan

    such is my thoughts as I sit surrounded  by those

    who know

    THE MAN I AM

     

    They ask me

    why 7 days prior did you not call

    why did you choose to fall

    alone

    why not pick up the phone

    why not roam

    why did you not reach out to us brother

    we heard your plaintive moans

    but we know

    you being the man you are

    you willingly decided to spar

    with the demon

    but damn

    you could have died

    your brillaint mind could have been fried

    your blessings could have been denied

    dammit Brother D'ee

    WHY!!!

    I smile and respond quietly

    because.....

    I AM THE D'EE

    and I knew instinctively

    that my pain would have caused a malestrom of mayhem

    to commence

    you brothers know the Obeah blessed me

    with a 6th sense

    I am your brother

    a man without pretense

    densely

    layered

    I compare

    to no man past, present or future

    yes I admit my heart was bleeding

    and I sutured

    it on my own

    and I have grown

    to accept the dynamic force I represent

    but without the time spent living

    within the Hades

    of my misery

    I would not be here

    at this very moment

    surrounded by those who know

    THE MAN I AM

     

    A reluctant leader

    I have always been

    yet a friend I have been

    in the end

    my love and undying gratitude for the women I have met

    such are my words of respect

    for each and every one set

    the bar higher

    gave me goals to reach

    and dreams to aspire

    need I say

    they inspired

    me

    to be D'ee

    for I have confirmed some salutations

    and outright denounced accusations

    to secure my station

    and pour libations

    to the D'ee that once was

    and hell yes

    from this day forward refuse to be

    for even those amongst me know not

    the contant evading of shots

    the mental rot

    the boiling pot

    the cauldron of discontent

    that I refuse

    and what did I have to use

    as defense

    for refusing to be sold out for sixpence

    my mind

    one shaped so formidably that it is illegal

    in 50 states

    a fate

    only God can determine

    a preternatual sense of vermin

    who smile

    and utter blaspemous betrayal

    all the while

    not knowing with guile

    I file

    away

    the time, the place

    the day

    not for personal retribution

    but for my absolution

    have they despite their treason

    put a halt to my elocution

    my verbosity

    speaks of a singular  and spectacular curiosity

    listen to me

    as I speak this truth

    the uncooth

    must live with the absolute proof

    of my rebirth

    the reverse of their curse

    the brothers who were not brothers

    shall never find another soul sibling

    like me

    the women who thought so bold

    to obtain a copyright

    upon my my soul

    have been sued

    I have fought hard to retain control

    of my being

    thus

    the man you are seeing

    is an amalagamation

    an independent declaration

    of freedom personified

    and for this man to be free

    the old D'ee

    had to die

    and THAT is why

    on this  night

    I sit amongst you my brethren

     

    AM I NOT PROUD

    AM I NOT BRILLIANT

    AM I NOT DEDICATED

    AM I NOT EMANCIPATED

    THE WORLD HAD A FIRM GRASP

    ON MY MANHOOD

    AND I FOUGHT WITH FEROCITY

    REFUSING TO BE CASTRATED

    SO AM I NOT A SHINING EXAMPLE

    THE EPITOME

    OF WHO A BLACK MAN IS

    AND WHAT A BLACK MAN SHOULD BE

    YES

    BY THE SPIRIT'S DECREE

    I AM

    AND FOREVER WILL BE

    THE D'EE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    FOR

    FINALLY I HAVE ASSUMED MY RIGHTFUL PLACE

    AND HAVE BEEN CROWNED A KING AMONG A SELECT FEW

    I HAVE BEEN CHOSEN

    TO REPRESENT THE BLACK MALE ESTHETIC

    AND HERE I SIT

    WITH MY FAMILY

    COMFORTED TO BE AMONGST THOSE

    WHO TRULY KNOW

     

    THE MAN I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Creative Commons License
    All Poetry by D.Greaves/Darwin Greaves by D.Greaves-Darwin Greaves is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at dgreaves.posterous.com.
    Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://dgreaves.posterous.com/pages/dgreaves-tos

    Tags » D.Greaves Poetry affirmations african american men bajan876 brotha dee poetry the man I am(Iam D'ee) thepoetsunplugged
    • 20 February 2011
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    Thanks for stopping by and visiting my site. I hope you enjoy the poetic works shared here.Please feel free to leave a comment and subscribe. You can also find me on Facebook under Darwin Greaves. While there, stop by and like my fan page. Listed under D.Greaves the Poet.

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