I sit today warmed by the memory
of your smile
and in remorse remembering my
voluntary exile from your love sweet
my mother had never heard her son
truly recite
doesnt know the depths of pain
I enter 2 write
the migraines
the shame
the blame
the stain
upon my soul i feebly attempt
2 explain
in verse
the curse
and audible curses aimed at the spirits
many know dgreaves the poet
if only through the snippets of my soul
I expose
yet no one truly knows
the man
born and shaped by volcanic sand
ready 2 erupt after years of being dormant
and so
I walked away from you in the infancy
of a promising future
2 protect you from my past
under such duress
we couldnt hope 2 last
or prosper
and the oscar
goes 2
me
the dee
I could not 4 the sake of you
allow you 2 see
many
wonder
few know
tone knew
was his self inflicted demise
due 2
my refusal of friendship
in his most troubled hour
I dont know
yet my stomach is sour
when i recall the chronology of events
ive spent
so much time within myself
I see the world through
a myopic vision
I love and yet refuse love
I give and am loathe 2 receive
I take nothing and
out of life and love
expect nothing
and yet
curiously
I feel free
free of imagined reality
free of the worlds testimony
free of dreams that curse me
with hope and promise
my mother weeps 4 me she says
blames herself i know 4 what
I have come 2 beI
I tell her no
the very second i decided 2 be a man
my destiny
or lack thereof was in my hands
this is my plan
as I fade into oblivion
the son of volcanic sand
my ears have been much 2 accute
2 reverberations of implied threats
so I
in my fury
make them real
I need 2 feel
my blood boil
and erupt through the corpustles
in my troubled head
saturating the soil
my soul brother asked
why do i write so prolific
so darn much
he said it is as if i am running out of time
nah brah
time is up
has been 33 years
since i first learned that tears
falling from a man
born of volcanic sand
is not release
but feeds the beast
of my burden
for certain
the quill has been both blessing and curse
4 every verse
is a snapshot i submit
4 public
perception
why is the question
my life has never been mine
until now
a baby of barbados
a child of dysfunction
a teen
in the mean
streets
an adult eloquent
yet incomplete
and now
a revolutionary in voluntary exile
from love
from feeling
from emotion
from devotion
from life
as michael jackson once sang
like a comet
blazing cross the evening sky
gone 2 soon
but i am still alive
or am I
another question 2 ponder
as i fade into oblivion
comfrotable am I
that finally
the choice was mine
and mine alone
lyrics to gone too soon
by michael jackson

All Poetry by D.Greaves/Darwin Greaves by D.Greaves-Darwin Greaves is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at dgreaves.posterous.com.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://dgreaves.posterous.com/pages/dgreaves-tos