D.Greaves http://dgreaves.posterous.com Well Veresed. Never Rehearsed. posterous.com Fri, 04 Feb 2011 14:57:00 -0800 MENTAL BOMB BLAST (i.e. the end of innocence) http://dgreaves.posterous.com/mental-bomb-blast-ie-the-end-of-innocence http://dgreaves.posterous.com/mental-bomb-blast-ie-the-end-of-innocence

Blackman

It's a Friday night

and here I am

Damn!

trying to recover enough mental ram

2 convince myself that I am myself

despite the last

22 hours

2 minuets

and 22 seconds

aka

the half life of a mental atomic bomb blast

but I'm real enough 2 know

ain't no flags gonna fly at half mast

not for a fool

they only make statues of them

with a gold tear placed

2 honor every tear he shed

right David Ruffin

that man sang that song like he once posed

4 the sculptor of the statue

I ain't posin 4 a damn statue

but I will seek a statute of limitations

on my heart's deprivation

maybe I will find a sympathetic judge

lest you be judged right baby

but right now you ain't worrying about me

you probably eating fudge

because

I was the one who said it's over

and why

I can't deny

once the words escaped my mouth

I wondered what the heck you sayin Dee

but yeah

it was me

see

I always prefer a quick death

2 a long drawn out homily

all that leaves is more animosity

than you're feeling right now

I was taught a man accepts

blame 4 being

it doesn't matter what his lady says

or what she is seeing

because anger makes a woman's eyes

lie

and say things she can't quantify

men have always said it's a woman being

emotional

and as a man you have two choices

smoke a dub

go 2 the club

and drown your pain

in the healing game

i.e.

find a femme

fuck a femme

or say

but that ain't me

I let my Playa Card expire

in my grandiose delusions

I thought

yes thought

despite my obvious faults

that I was represneting

the

Black Male Aesthetic

or more accurately defined as

the study of sensori-emotional values

Big azz VAL on the youse

sometimes called judgement of sentiment

i.e.

being a predator is easy

4 men like me

but my word is my veracity

my bond

ain't no magic wand

gonna cure all that a heart accumulates

not when stake after stake

has been driven into its center

funny what a person remembers at times like this

a teacher in high school once said

in describing the impact and power of an atomic blast

that sand fuses into glass

I wonder if it's the kind of glass you can

toast life with

or if it reflects a life at the epicenter of a mental bomb blast

I seem 2 recall I did rather well in his class

never wanted the bell 2 ring

or the history lessons 2 end

you see

history or her-story is a friend

that will, in times of emergency

defend

motives and debunk assumptions

so with the resumption

of your life, and yes it will commence

the hurt doesn't just dissipate

but the pain makes sense

everybody who been down that road

shake your head one time

in the affirmative

like yes I can

yes I will

no I won't

no I can't

yes I can live and love again

yes I will believe in the power of love

no I won't be afraid of being hurt by love again

no I can't stop believing in the power of love 2 heal

truth be told my love is not incarcerated

but it is out on apppeal

so

check it out dawg

it's a Friday night

and my main man just called

asked whazzup

I said everything and nothing Bond

he sighed

and said quitely

yo..time 2 ride

or emotionally die

so I'm going out

but I've put myself on emotional house arrest

so I got the ankle joint

what's the point

motivation and expectation man

see

I have made it this far being Dee

not predatory

I mean

damn the club does have a Unisex lavatory

i.e.

woman and man

like a helluva lot mo goings onwnnn up in 'dere than

ummmm...washing hands

like glands

and..y'all get the picture

my mental restrictor

ain't but 4 one reason and one reason only

because when a dude is in predatory mode

all he wanna do is find a femme

and..ahem

shoot his load

and man I don't wanna see the hurt on another woman's face

the disgrace

when she wakes

and I'm like you ready to leave

trust and believe

I'm tempted as Hey-yell

but she

i.e.

the prey

might just say

around mid day

why did you hurt me like this

what did I do 2 deserve this.....disssss

and I would ask myself

Brotha Dee

what happened 2 class

and dignity

and respect

so I am gonna come correct

no pun or fun intended at all

the game

that's what it's called

but dawg

it ain't a damn game

when a woman is tryin 2 find her panties

hangin her head in shame

nah..

then it's real as rain

and just as fuckin slippery

i.e.

slimy

slithery

fake

like a maa'fuckin snake

in the garden of good and evil

and I gots 2 be good

'cuz see

I'm on appeal

and God is the judge

lest I be judged

unworthy of being

DEE

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