D.Greaves http://dgreaves.posterous.com Well Veresed. Never Rehearsed. posterous.com Fri, 04 Feb 2011 14:57:00 -0800 MENTAL BOMB BLAST (i.e. the end of innocence) http://dgreaves.posterous.com/mental-bomb-blast-ie-the-end-of-innocence http://dgreaves.posterous.com/mental-bomb-blast-ie-the-end-of-innocence

Blackman

It's a Friday night

and here I am

Damn!

trying to recover enough mental ram

2 convince myself that I am myself

despite the last

22 hours

2 minuets

and 22 seconds

aka

the half life of a mental atomic bomb blast

but I'm real enough 2 know

ain't no flags gonna fly at half mast

not for a fool

they only make statues of them

with a gold tear placed

2 honor every tear he shed

right David Ruffin

that man sang that song like he once posed

4 the sculptor of the statue

I ain't posin 4 a damn statue

but I will seek a statute of limitations

on my heart's deprivation

maybe I will find a sympathetic judge

lest you be judged right baby

but right now you ain't worrying about me

you probably eating fudge

because

I was the one who said it's over

and why

I can't deny

once the words escaped my mouth

I wondered what the heck you sayin Dee

but yeah

it was me

see

I always prefer a quick death

2 a long drawn out homily

all that leaves is more animosity

than you're feeling right now

I was taught a man accepts

blame 4 being

it doesn't matter what his lady says

or what she is seeing

because anger makes a woman's eyes

lie

and say things she can't quantify

men have always said it's a woman being

emotional

and as a man you have two choices

smoke a dub

go 2 the club

and drown your pain

in the healing game

i.e.

find a femme

fuck a femme

or say

but that ain't me

I let my Playa Card expire

in my grandiose delusions

I thought

yes thought

despite my obvious faults

that I was represneting

the

Black Male Aesthetic

or more accurately defined as

the study of sensori-emotional values

Big azz VAL on the youse

sometimes called judgement of sentiment

i.e.

being a predator is easy

4 men like me

but my word is my veracity

my bond

ain't no magic wand

gonna cure all that a heart accumulates

not when stake after stake

has been driven into its center

funny what a person remembers at times like this

a teacher in high school once said

in describing the impact and power of an atomic blast

that sand fuses into glass

I wonder if it's the kind of glass you can

toast life with

or if it reflects a life at the epicenter of a mental bomb blast

I seem 2 recall I did rather well in his class

never wanted the bell 2 ring

or the history lessons 2 end

you see

history or her-story is a friend

that will, in times of emergency

defend

motives and debunk assumptions

so with the resumption

of your life, and yes it will commence

the hurt doesn't just dissipate

but the pain makes sense

everybody who been down that road

shake your head one time

in the affirmative

like yes I can

yes I will

no I won't

no I can't

yes I can live and love again

yes I will believe in the power of love

no I won't be afraid of being hurt by love again

no I can't stop believing in the power of love 2 heal

truth be told my love is not incarcerated

but it is out on apppeal

so

check it out dawg

it's a Friday night

and my main man just called

asked whazzup

I said everything and nothing Bond

he sighed

and said quitely

yo..time 2 ride

or emotionally die

so I'm going out

but I've put myself on emotional house arrest

so I got the ankle joint

what's the point

motivation and expectation man

see

I have made it this far being Dee

not predatory

I mean

damn the club does have a Unisex lavatory

i.e.

woman and man

like a helluva lot mo goings onwnnn up in 'dere than

ummmm...washing hands

like glands

and..y'all get the picture

my mental restrictor

ain't but 4 one reason and one reason only

because when a dude is in predatory mode

all he wanna do is find a femme

and..ahem

shoot his load

and man I don't wanna see the hurt on another woman's face

the disgrace

when she wakes

and I'm like you ready to leave

trust and believe

I'm tempted as Hey-yell

but she

i.e.

the prey

might just say

around mid day

why did you hurt me like this

what did I do 2 deserve this.....disssss

and I would ask myself

Brotha Dee

what happened 2 class

and dignity

and respect

so I am gonna come correct

no pun or fun intended at all

the game

that's what it's called

but dawg

it ain't a damn game

when a woman is tryin 2 find her panties

hangin her head in shame

nah..

then it's real as rain

and just as fuckin slippery

i.e.

slimy

slithery

fake

like a maa'fuckin snake

in the garden of good and evil

and I gots 2 be good

'cuz see

I'm on appeal

and God is the judge

lest I be judged

unworthy of being

DEE

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/993135/www.dgreavesthepoet.png http://posterous.com/users/1kW0JkHfQfeh Darwin Greaves D'EE Darwin Greaves
Fri, 04 Feb 2011 05:39:00 -0800 A FADE INTO OBLIVION http://dgreaves.posterous.com/a-fade-into-oblivion http://dgreaves.posterous.com/a-fade-into-oblivion

Fade

I sit today warmed by the memory 

of your smile

and in remorse remembering my 

voluntary exile from your love sweet

my mother had never heard her son 

truly recite

doesnt know the depths of pain 

I enter 2 write

the migraines

the shame

the blame

the stain 

upon my soul i feebly attempt

2 explain

in verse

the curse

and audible curses aimed at the spirits

many know dgreaves the poet

if only through the snippets of my soul

I expose

yet no one truly knows

the man

born and shaped by volcanic sand

ready 2 erupt after years of being dormant

and so

I walked away from you in the infancy 

of a promising future

2 protect you from my past

under such duress

we couldnt hope 2 last

or prosper

and the oscar 

goes 2

me

the dee 

I could not 4 the sake of you

allow you 2 see

many

wonder 

few know

tone knew

was his self inflicted demise

due  2 

my refusal of friendship

in his most troubled hour

I dont know

yet my stomach is sour

when i recall the chronology of events

ive spent 

so much time within myself

I see the world through

a myopic vision

I love and yet refuse love

I give and am loathe 2 receive

I take nothing and 

out of life and love

expect nothing

and yet 

curiously 

I feel free

free of imagined reality

free of the worlds testimony

free of dreams that curse me 

with hope and promise

my mother weeps 4 me she says

blames herself i know 4 what

I have come 2 beI

I tell her no

the very second i decided 2 be a man

my destiny 

or lack thereof  was in my hands

this is my plan

as I fade into oblivion

the son of volcanic sand

my ears have been much 2 accute

2 reverberations of implied threats

so I

in my fury 

make them real

I need 2 feel

my blood boil

and erupt through the corpustles

in my troubled head

saturating the soil

my soul brother asked 

why do i write so prolific

so darn much

he said it is as if i am running out of time

nah brah

time is up

has been 33 years

since i first learned that tears

falling from a man

born of volcanic sand

is not release

but feeds the beast 

of my burden

for certain

the quill has been both blessing and curse

4 every verse 

is a snapshot i submit

4 public 

perception

why is the question

my life has never been mine

until now

a baby of barbados

a child of dysfunction

a teen

in the mean 

streets

an adult eloquent 

yet incomplete

and now

a revolutionary in voluntary exile

from love

from feeling

from emotion

from devotion

from life

as michael jackson once sang

like a comet 

blazing cross the evening sky

gone 2 soon

but i am still alive

or am I

another question 2 ponder

as i fade into oblivion

comfrotable  am I

that finally

the choice was mine

and mine alone

 

lyrics  to gone too soon

by michael jackson

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/993135/www.dgreavesthepoet.png http://posterous.com/users/1kW0JkHfQfeh Darwin Greaves D'EE Darwin Greaves
Thu, 13 Jan 2011 23:23:00 -0800 UNTITLED (none needed) http://dgreaves.posterous.com/-none-needed http://dgreaves.posterous.com/-none-needed

When love's tapestry
Is woven with threads of shame
Pin%#&@$!s of a needle
Leaves tears that forever stain
Is this really you
Or just a cruel and unusual game
Digging in the past
For any skeletons that remain

Oh, thought I heard angels cry
But it was just the thought of you
Passing by
Never stopping
With no calm 2 impart
Carrying a crown once regally worn
Now resembling
A crown of thorns

Two hearts speaking
At the very same time
A cacophony of wasted sound
Never cleansing the mind
Doubts of fairly tales
When falling asleep
Counting the last worthless evening
Ignoring the sheep

When love's majesty
Falls victim 2 a coup d etat
Is the overthrow recored in the universe
Or is it Inshallah
Pray that you'll find a reason
2 remain together still
Not remain apart
Against God's will

Oh, thought I heard
Your children crying
But they haven't said a word
I guess they remain upset
Finding solace in their solitude
Under the cellar steps

Two hearts reaching
But on different frequencies
Never learned to accept honey
Without being stung by angry bees
Like the honecomb
Once a vibrant home
Now a castle in the wastelands
Once love has flown


Written for my man Will and his estranged wife..peace and love 2 you both

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/993135/www.dgreavesthepoet.png http://posterous.com/users/1kW0JkHfQfeh Darwin Greaves D'EE Darwin Greaves
Tue, 11 Jan 2011 14:24:00 -0800 BURIAL MOUNDS (a take on love) http://dgreaves.posterous.com/burial-mounds-a-take-on-love http://dgreaves.posterous.com/burial-mounds-a-take-on-love

Burial

Play it slow man..

So much you will never see
Disappearing acts
Are my specialty
Learned 2 run away from pain
And toss into the trash
Memories that remain

Fun house mirror
Reflects my smile
Always fools friends
Who don't stay 4 a while
Hush my frantic heart
When it begins 2 pound
Grown fond
Of having heartbreak around

Tears don't make a sound
When they fall
On our love's burial mound

So much you never knew
Words U thought I ignored
Indeed got through
Seen so much
My tear ducts
Are sealed
Never bothered 2 ask 4 an appeal
My final sentence
Always puntuated by a question mark
Crooked as the road I travelled
Relying on a lonely heart

The Lions seem rather bored
Or is it me
Refusing 2 believe
In things I once adored
So many times confidently
I strode 2 the plate
Once up 2 bat
Took too much time 2 deliberate
Strike
One
Two
Three
A disappearing act
Is what I've come 2 be

Come one
Come all
Laugh at Dee the clown
Ignore the echo is his heart
That still resounds

Tears don't make a sound
When they fall
On love's burial mound

..that's it..one take
Let it fade
I'm out

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/993135/www.dgreavesthepoet.png http://posterous.com/users/1kW0JkHfQfeh Darwin Greaves D'EE Darwin Greaves