This is some of the real-est ..ish I ever wrote...4 real
this is D'ee uncensored on da page..check it
can't stop being who I am
can't Re-live what I missed
like my first kiss
pops was yellin
tellin
my young fling
D'ee ain't ...ish
I ain't a gambler
but it's not hard 2 predict
an adolescent mind
will start 2 believe it
I tried hard
but my peeps were never satisfied
mom looked n2 my eyes
heard her say she wished I had died
said if birth control was in vogue
way back in the day
there's no way I'd be with your Father
now you're in the way
and then she prayed
WHAT?!
I stood there
my young mind swirling with contradictions
as my Momma eased
2 her knees
a prepared a Benediction
can't stop being who I am
can't Re-live what I've missed
can you believe this?
my throat filling with blood
my parents didn't stop
until it spilled on the rug
pop blaming mom
mom ashen as a ashtray
until she finally said
he shouln't be in the way
thought 2 myself
DAMN!
is that all you can say
now I cringe everytime
anybody picks up a knife
if you cutting a piece of brown meat
...ISH
you might as well be slicing up my life
can't stop being who I am
can't Re-live what I've missed
a young boy
caught in a tempest
water boiling in a pot
pops in da bed
momma sleeping on a cot
dude couldn't control
the evil Spirit inside a bottle of likka
2 neighbors he was Cool D'ee
2 me
a sad A--s N---ga!
the screams
the schemes
X-plodin in my dreams
2 this day sleep 4 hours a nite
2 avoid the fiend
woke up one Sunday morning
heard a sound like an animal
under duress
in a fit of anger
momma threw boiling water
on his chest
skin sizzling
blisters forming
thought I'd die from the stress
can't stop being who I am
can't Re-live what I've missed
in skool
I remained focused on the books
an escape from reality
is what it took
a sensitive little brutha
my smile became an evil smirk
would subject my body 2
various levels of pain
and endure the hurt
had 2 be tough
totally evil
unflinching
unscathed
still I tought in my adolescent innocence
my peeps could be saved
now I know in my heart
some people can't be helped
they pluck a card from the deck
of the ..ish they've dealt
stared n2 a mirror
hours without closing my eyes
2 me
weakness was the tears
I learned 2 despise
now I don't cry much
feel disgust
the legacy remains
you shoot me
or cut me
I'll deal with the pain
can't stop being who I am
can't Re-live what I've missed
if I could resist
don't know if I would
the evil I accentuated
got me out of the Hood
the baddest cat is afraid
of truly evil intent
cross the line
you're mine
until my anger is spent
back in the day
my girlfriend's Ex
started some ...ish
I thought just chill D'ee
this boy is a fool
don't know when 2 quit
do your thing Black man
deal with y'all issues
WHAT?!
A threat 2 me!
felt acid in my tissue
eased n2 a plan
5 years spent
met up with the cat
oh so now you tryin 2 prevent?
looked n2 his eyes
brutha this is the path
you can block a blessing
but not Satanic Wrath
now go home 2 your kids
and always know
I LET you go
can't stop being who I am
can't Re-live what I've missed
all through this
you think I would've learned
but a heart that's hard
makes a Spirit tough 2 discern
dark from light
wrong from right
Satan from God
blamed the Father 4 a soul
the devil robbed
God is INDEED MY SAVIOR
was hard as hell 2 bend my knees
4 a long time yo
I REFUSED 2 plead
now
who do you see?
a heart with a fortress in the round?
am I your pordigal son
will I ever be found?
maybe
but know this
I can't stop being who I am
can't Re-live what I've missed
yo, that's it..on da real
FEEL ME?
I'm out

All Poetry by D.Greaves/Darwin Greaves by D.Greaves-Darwin Greaves is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at dgreaves.posterous.com.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://dgreaves.posterous.com/pages/dgreaves-tos
.